Tell someone you are depressed, and you will get a myriad of responses and opinions.
Tell someone you are pregnant, and you will get a hill of unsolicited suggestions on what to eat / not eat, what to do / not do, and how to feel / not to feel.
Tell someone you have a newborn baby, and there will be a tsunami of advice, from friends, parents, grandparents, relatives, strangers on the street, and of course, the omniscient domestic helpers, who are but your employees.
Many of these comments remind me of those I received during my worst depression days. “You should be grateful.” “You should not say that.” “You should feel like this.”
The first month after having a baby exposed me to some of the weakest, most helpless sensations I have ever felt. A pitiful sense of diffidence in myself, in my actions, and in my thoughts, enveloped my sleep deprived mind. One off-hand comment, or an innocent query of “how much milk can you pump?” would send me over the edge to doubt whether I was doing the “right” thing.
So my lesson for myself, as I move on to the second month of being a mother, is to learn to be detached and not let others comments affect my mood. It could well be me: I need not hear into a random comment any criticism and assume others are judging me. If they were, well, who cares?
Well-intentioned suggestions are welcomed. But I need to have confidence in what I am doing.
Similarly, the journey in recovery from depression and self-exploration is a vulnerable one.
Let not others judge you. Take your own time.