NochNoch.com

將它視為進步

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幾天前我照例去看心理醫生。前臺小姐說她喜歡我的外衣——一條簡單的碎花裙子配一雙粉色的UGG雪地靴外加一條淡粉色的圍巾。

我將這視為我恢復中的進步。

三年前的我會是穿著前一天的衣服來看醫生。一般就是一件舊T恤,一條牛仔裙外加褲襪和黑色的UGG雪地靴。外衣的顏色基本上就是黑和灰。我的頭髮不梳所以我會用一根舊皮筋把它們紮成馬尾。外面裹上一件海藍色羽絨夾克,把夾克套頭帽罩在頭上並用一條圍巾蒙住剩下的臉。進診所、上樓梯還有在外面候診的時候我的眼睛都一直盯著地板。

和別人交談的時候我從來不看他們的眼睛。我說話含糊不清。我在護士和前臺小姐面前顯得焦躁不安。在沙發上等醫生的時候我無精打采。

對於自己的存在我一點兒信心都沒有。我希望自己能融化進牆壁裏這樣就沒人能看到我了。我覺得自己是所有人的妨礙。

我沒有好好照顧自己。我沒有精力那麼做。也沒有動力那麼做。

所以今天,我把為自己挑選了外套並戴上了與之相配的項鏈這個簡單的舉動視為一個小小的進步。

拍拍我的背。

每次前進一步— 抑鬱好起來是需要一些時間的。

願朋友們2013年都過得快樂,做自己喜歡的事。

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翻譯:楊征

about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) was born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Social Entrepreneur and founded BEARAPY to help corporates make workplaces mentally healthy, and support executives to become more resilient.