Most people spend annual holidays during the summer somewhere exotic, preferably by the beach. I do not have this luxury at the moment, not least because of budget, but also because I do not fancy travelling with a crying 2-month old and a screaming 3-year old (okay I exaggerate, they are not that bad).
Escapades are meant to rejuvenate. Best done alone. I found a new escape that did not require a flight or expensive boutique hotel bookings.
It is calm, dark, and would only be able to fit one person. There are no windows. There is only one way in and out. And if you stayed there too long you could possibly suffocate, but for 5-10 minutes it is the most tranquil and peaceful place in my life at the moment. Not yet contaminated with people and dirty diapers.
My mini walk-in wardrobe. It is simply a corner tucked behind the bedroom door, but it has a door of its own.
Whenever I am in a rage, furious, and livid, I stomp into my wardrobe and bang the door close. Then I sit, or sprawl out on the floor. Cry if I will, then usually I calm down and go into trance-like mode.
The silence. The aloneness. The blackness around me. Very comforting.
There is something comforting about staying at home, as modern philosophers would agree. Sometimes it does not have to be elaborate, nor planned.
It takes a few minutes to transport our minds to a fantasy place, to daydream, to stay with the anxiety and darkness. Then we can reemerge into the light, cuddle a bear, and soldier on. We must help ourselves, even given limited resources, and find a way amidst the noise and chatter.
I hope you find such solitude and space, even if it must be the toilet in your home. It is what you make it to be.
Believe in you.