NochNoch.com

dreams are my reality

| 4 Comments

there was a time when I adhered to guidance, and abandoned the subjects I wanted to study

there was a time when I succumbed to practicalities, and took up law & politics instead of journalism

there was a time when I gave up my aspirations in international criminal law for a salary in banking

there was a time when I made everyone proud, but myself miserable

there was a time when I was an obedient, good child, yet loathed myself for being so

there was a time when I pretended to be strong, happy, and successful in front of everyone, but my spirit festered inside

there was a time when I wore a mask to keep up the smiles, but the dissonance corroded my soul

there was a time I even forgot my dreams to become a writer

there was a time when my ambitions to change the world were belittled, and I lost the determination to battle on

there was a time I wanted to be everyone else, except myself

 

it is to be no more

 

on this 36th birthday, I promise myself:

I will be me; I live for myself

I will express how I feel as it is

I will not care if people tell me how I “should” be feeling or not

I will not be afraid to say, “I’m crumbling, I need help”

I will not be wary of loneliness, despair, or rage

 

I will chase my dreams again

I do not know when they will materialize –

or whether they would even come true

 

dreams will be my motivation

dreams will give me meaning

dreams will give me purpose

dreams will be how I live

dreams will make me laugh & giggle again

 

dreams are my reality

happy birthday to me
depression, recover from depression, how to get out of depression, suicide, international executive, expatriate life, self awareness, finding yourself, balanced life, overachiever and depression, burnt out cause depression, stress cause depression, prevent suicide, Beijing depression, Beijing suicide, Noch Noch, Bearapy, playfulness, creativity, founders' depression, entrepreneurship, women, female executive

4 Responses

  1. Guill says:
    15 April, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Only one life: ours! HB.

  2. Jim says:
    10 May, 2017 at 2:41 am

    I just read this so this is late. But I hope it was an awesome birthday.

  • Everyone has an opinion

    depression, recover from depression, how to get out of depression, suicide, international executive, expatriate life, self awareness, finding yourself, balanced life, overachiever and depression, burnt out cause depression, stress cause depression, prevent suicide, Beijing depression, Beijing suicide, Noch Noch, Bearapy,
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    Tell someone you are depressed, and you will get a myriad of responses and opinions. Tell someone you are pregnant, and you will get a hill of unsolicited suggestions on what to eat / not eat, what to do / not do, and how to feel / not to feel. Tell someone you have a…

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    depression, recover from depression, how to get out of depression, suicide, international executive, expatriate life, self awareness, finding yourself, balanced life, overachiever and depression, burnt out cause depression, stress cause depression, prevent suicide, Beijing depression, Beijing suicide, Noch Noch, Bearapy, playfulness, creativity, founders' depression, entrepreneurship, women, female executive
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    I am not reluctant to connect with my past. Contrary, I analyse the sh!t out of everything that I paralyse myself from making changes. However, there is one caveat: it made me shiver to have to face anyone from the past. For a few years, I deleted everyone from Facebook, I had a panic attack…

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    depression, recover from depression, how to get out of depression, suicide, international executive, expatriate life, self awareness, finding yourself, balanced life, overachiever and depression, burnt out cause depression, stress cause depression, prevent suicide, Beijing depression, Beijing suicide, Noch Noch, Bearapy, playfulness, creativity, founders' depression, entrepreneurship, women, female executive
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    Dearest Riviane, You are enough. Do not let anyone – especially me – ever doubt you. Live for yourself, and not to anyone’s expectations, not society’s, not your parents’, not your grandparents’, not your friends. There is no image you need to live up to. Seek help when you need; you do not have to…

about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) is born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Play Consultant for corporates interested in creative change management and employee well-being using the psychology of playfulness.

NochNoch