dreams are my reality


there was a time when I adhered to guidance, and abandoned the subjects I wanted to study

there was a time when I succumbed to practicalities, and took up law & politics instead of journalism

there was a time when I gave up my aspirations in international criminal law for a salary in banking

there was a time when I made everyone proud, but myself miserable

there was a time when I was an obedient, good child, yet loathed myself for being so

there was a time when I pretended to be strong, happy, and successful in front of everyone, but my spirit festered inside

there was a time when I wore a mask to keep up the smiles, but the dissonance corroded my soul

there was a time I even forgot my dreams to become a writer

there was a time when my ambitions to change the world were belittled, and I lost the determination to battle on

there was a time I wanted to be everyone else, except myself


it is to be no more


on this 36th birthday, I promise myself:

I will be me; I live for myself

I will express how I feel as it is

I will not care if people tell me how I “should” be feeling or not

I will not be afraid to say, “I’m crumbling, I need help”

I will not be wary of loneliness, despair, or rage


I will chase my dreams again

I do not know when they will materialize –

or whether they would even come true


dreams will be my motivation

dreams will give me meaning

dreams will give me purpose

dreams will be how I live

dreams will make me laugh & giggle again


dreams are my reality

happy birthday to me
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4 Responses

  1. Guill says:

    Only one life: ours! HB.

  2. Jim says:

    I just read this so this is late. But I hope it was an awesome birthday.

about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) was born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Social Entrepreneur and founded BEARAPY to help corporates make workplaces mentally healthy, and support executives to become more resilient.