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Authentic disdain

| 6 Comments

The buzz word seems to be “authenticity” these days. Are you an authentic leader? Are you being authentic at work? Are you an authentic team player?

What does “authentic” even mean?

I once heard someone say that one cannot call oneself an authentic person; it must come from others around you as it is how they sense and experience you as a person.

So who is to judge what is authentic? And how does one become authentic? Is being true to oneself authentic? How do you show the authenticity?

It is more obvious that I thought: a look of disgust on my face, a flash of suspicion in my eyes, a roll of my eyeballs in desperation at the incompetence.

This is my “authentic disdain.”  

I do not know enough about being an empathetic, compassionate, authentic leader in any context, but I do know how to show repugnance, and I am going to claim this as a gift. Perhaps I can claim it as a new theory and that will be my contribution to leadership and organization studies…. *eye roll*

There is so much positive psychology, and lovey-dovey-feel-good-let’s-all-love-each-other type writing, workshops, ideas, and talks etc. floating around in this galaxy. I will patch in the gaps, and get us to look at the things that we do not want to look at: our anger, our hurt, our pain, our mediocrities, our tears. Of course there is a rainbow after the storm, but if right now, we are in a storm, let us sit with the storm and feel the wind lashing on to our wounded skin.After sunny days, the lightning will also arrive.  Let us deal with the shit too.

As I get in touch with my inner bitch, I will show more authentic disdain, do my eye rolls, and express my sarcasm in such distaste that will make you shiver (actually, the thought of doing that every time I would like to, petrifies me, what will others think about me….?)

Let us face it, we all have our moments when we would like to tear someone else apart.

Let us own our disdain, face it, talk to it, let it become empowering… and let it be that unpolished, unmasked, unhidden side of vulnerability that we dare to show.

A toast to authentic disdain.

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6 Responses

  1. Jim says:

    Two comments:
    1. Awesome
    2. No shit.

  2. Nina says:

    Is that being authentic if I love-embrace-prond of my stubborn (stubborness?)

    • Noch Noch says:

      Maybe. that’s for you to decide. And I think that’s the key to authenticity – knowing ourselves, then deciding what is ourselves, and then owning it
      Noch Noch

  3. Georgie says:

    Cheers to that.

about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) was born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Social Entrepreneur and founded BEARAPY to help corporates make workplaces mentally healthy, and support executives to become more resilient.