I am mediocre



With all the self-flagellation of how inadequate I am, or the jealousy I feel towards others I classify as having “made it,” today, I come to the somber revelation that I am mediocre.

I am part of the mediocrity.

I am not the same league as those I aspire to be.

I am not thought-leader material.

My superiority complex needs to come down to earth. Perhaps, once I admit I am mediocre, I will become less cynical and sarcastic towards those I find stupid, because, in effect, I am the same.

It is a reality check – perhaps no one will ever fly me around first class to talk about me, nor will they find my ideas on playfulness and stress management interesting. Perhaps I will accomplish what I set out to do.

I had depression, and it gave me a narrative, an opportunity to learn, an escape from myself, and a chance to reengineer myself. But 1.2 million other people in the world are struggling or have battled with depression too.

I am not so special; so I do not need to impose a burden on myself that I need to be different, be outstanding, be innovative, be forward thinking.

I am just me. I do the fish face. Part of the mediocrity.

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12 Responses

  1. Thomas says:

    I, too, am mediocre. It’s something I’ve always considered defining. I’m pretty good at a lot of things but not exceptional at just one. It can’t be that bad tho right?

    • Noch Noch says:

      No, and perhaps there is a peace in being mediocre 🙂

      • LY says:

        Congratulations! The acceptance of being mediocre or ordinary is a step towards extraordinary peace and joy. It’s like accepting the place of a leaf in a tree – maybe not the highest one on the highest branch, but nonetheless a deserving part and every bit as beautiful in it’s own right.

        • Noch Noch says:

          Thanks LY – indeed a different and more grounded perspective. Thanks for the metaphor of the tree and leaves… helps me in understanding more about myself!
          Noch Noch

  2. Priyanka says:

    It hurts me to see you call yourself mediocre. I get it, I am guilty of watching Ted Talks and feeling inadequate. However, I was able to let that s**t go when I realized…WHO GIVES A SHIT THAT THEY GAVE A TED TALK. Maybe their dad is the owner of the sponsored event, maybe they have connections or maybe that one year they hustled ahrder then me? So what.

    All of the “prestige” has so much more to do with external factors outside of my control. When I became thankful for my life and experiences, I was able to see my uniqueness. You will be there one day.

    You’re not mediocre. Your blog has been featured on some amazing channels, you wrote an E-Book. You helped me through depression!

    Keep applying, keep engaging on social media and all the other stuff will come.

    You’re not mediocre. Not by a bit. Heck you survived depression. Let a TED Talk person talk about that.

    • Noch Noch says:

      Hi Priyanka
      thanks for the encouragement, and yes it’s a thought process I’m working through…
      And I’m glad to know that I have helped!
      Noch Noch

  3. Amelia says:

    I have just discovered your blog and find it incredibly interesting. But I think you will find that 350 million people deal will depression throughout the world, you wrote 1.2 million.
    It is devastating to think that so many of us have to handle depression everyday.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts

    • Noch Noch says:

      Hi Amelia

      Thanks – and yes I realize the estimate from WHO has increased now. I must update my stats!
      Hope the blog has given you some inspiration too


  4. Zander says:

    I grew up surrounded by mediocre people, but I plan to make something big of myself. Yep, you heard it here. In the comments section of this blog. Zander’s gonna make it!

    Also, I noticed in this post that you said you HAD depression. I am so glad to hear you made it out 🙂 I saw your post about what not to say to a depressed person, and I was like “Wow. That is so true. This is an intelligent person who really understands how they feel.” So to see this story have closure is fantastic!

    • Noch Noch says:

      Thanks Zander – yes I’m in remission now, and no longer have clinical depression. But I keep writing about it because I want to raise awareness, and also it has given me new insights into my life and thoughts. I’m still reflecting on my own developmental journey and hope to share with others

      Makes me happy to see that my writing has touched you, and thank you for visiting my blog and dropping me a note 🙂

  5. Jim says:

    You are not mediocre. No one of us is. We are all human. All messed up, and all perfect.
    You help many, many more people than I think you want to believe.
    You don’t have to do anything in life other than be Noch Noch. And she is looking back at you in the mirror.


    • Noch Noch says:

      Hi Jim

      I quite like the reflection I see in the mirror today 🙂
      Thanks for mentioning this and reminding us how unique we are in our “imperfections” 🙂


about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) was born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Social Entrepreneur and founded BEARAPY to help corporates make workplaces mentally healthy, and support executives to become more resilient.