Life is not all rainbows. Sometimes life is crap.
We spend time waiting, chasing, hoping, wondering… to no concrete results.
People do not respond to emails.
Things out of our control keep us in limbo.
We get sick. We get tired. We do not reach the goals in our self-allotted time.
Sometimes we wonder what is the point to it all? For what are we staying alive?
People die of hunger. Some explode with bombs.
Others, simply a victim of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
The world tells us to think positive, to look on bright side of things.
Makes me feel guilty for being sad.
Blogs tell me how to be happy, and that if I am not, it is my own fault.
It is not a crime to feel sorrow.
Misery, disappointment, anger, tears… are all natural emotions.
We were born with an innate ability to feel a range of sentiments.
Pain is a message to us.
Look within for an answer.
There is nothing wrong in feeling melancholy and upset.
There is nothing wrong in being positive and encouraging.
Do not feel obliged to smile all the time. It becomes tiring.
Do not feel guilty for crying. Release is important.
The pivot significance lies in understanding why we feel how we feel.
Your writing is very expressive. It penetrates beyond layers of sadness and goes directly to the soul. One experiences a vast array of emotions along the course of life. The depth and width of feeling varies with each individual. Thank you for sharing your journey. It brought tears to my eyes and it tickled my toes.
Hi Susan
Thank you very much for the kind comment!!! I’m very happy to know it has touched you. Comments like yours keeps me motivated to write during the days when I wonder, “what’s the point of it all?”
Noch Noch
Noch
I wonder if you could write sometime about how marriage and children have affected your depression. Does having the stability of love help? Does having a child dependent on you help ease depression? Or have you noticed any change in the dynamics?
Jim
Hi Jim
Great suggestion! I’ve put it in my draft ideas and had some initial thoughts about the topic…. But short answer, having a baby increased my anxiety due to my own personality, and I wanted to do everything “right”, but now it’s getting better and a bit balanced. My husband helps, because his personality is different and he’s the opposing force to mitigate my anxiety. The stability of the relationship helps – but then again, the relationship has been rocky and tense since the baby arrived. Lots to adapt to, but at least we have a way of arguing and communicating with rules of engagement 🙂
NN
I think you’re right that there is nothing wrong about feeling melancholy and upset but with one proviso…you want to also be optimistic that these feelings will pass and to not be closed minded that just around the corner could be feelings of glee and contentment.
I have worked hard at developing or rather re-developing an optimistic approach after a very stressful 5 year period in my life. By working on my optimism I’ve indirectly improved my self esteem, accepted that life will throw me the occasional catastrophe and have developed confidence in the fact that nothing is permanent; everything changes.
Oh and by the way, how annoying would it be if we were “up” all the time?