NochNoch.com

6 years and beyond

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It was around this time in the year I started getting migraines 6 years ago. I would like to congratulate myself for coming this far.

From migraines to clinical depression to anxiety to panic attacks to suicide attempts – it feels surreal in retrospect.

A journey I did not expect or envision in the master plan for my life. A detour, a meandering, an impasse. This challenge has unleashed more power in me than I thought possible.

In frustration, I found self-reflection space. In hopelessness, I rediscovered creativity. In illness, I learnt health. In despair, relationships coalesced and I married a soul mate.

Forced to let go of identity, of vanity, of friendships that did not matter, I was given an opportunity through this mood disorder to focus on the people that did matter, i.e. myself.

Trust in myself does not require external approval from parents, teachers, or colleagues. What others think does not define me. Anger, rage, bitterness reminded me to set emotional boundaries to keep myself from forces that I could not deal with at that moment in time.

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I must learn to listen to my heart, do what I feel is right. Stop doing things, but just stand there for a while. Just be me.

There is still more work to be done. Panic attacks have not disappeared, but there is heightened sense of discernment. I encapsulate the cuddly bear and the grizzly bear inside of me. All is me and I am okay with that.

Self-confidence that emanates from inside is grounded on the courage to be vulnerable.

I dare you to be brave and accept yourself – the beautiful and the dark side.

Congratulations to

about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) is born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Play Consultant for corporates interested in creative change management and employee well-being using the psychology of playfulness.