The antithesis of control


If you want to learn to relinquish control, take care of a baby.

My baby girl was born a month ago. Aside from the hormonal ups and downs, the roller coaster of emotions, and interrupted sleep, having a baby is forcing me to let someone else direct my decisions and behaviours.

There is no control over a baby. She will cry when she needs to be fed, she will feed when she is hungry, she will stay awake when her mood desires, and she will sleep when she is sleepy even if you keep poking her face to make her wake up.

Plans go out the door. Schedules get changed again and again. Gratefully, I managed to keep some appointments as my husband is supportive and we have a system in place for extra help. Plus, we try to keep some sort of “life” despite adjusting to this transitional phase, as a healthy, happy mother – and marriage – is just as important to the well being of this little bugger. Therefore, if a manicure would keep me sane, I would leave the baby in the care of someone else and keep my manicure appointment. A little break for a dinner out or a walk with the dog together with my husband refreshes the exhausted soul.

For a control freak like myself, revolving around others and not knowing what the next step is brings utmost anxiety. How to cope? Not sure.

But without a doubt, this baby will force on to me, by far the most drastic changes in behaviour. Timmie taught me the concept of chilling out – this baby girl will enforce the implementation…

Some things are out of our control. Let it flow. It is all an experience.

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11 Responses

  1. Tonya says:

    Noch Noch and Timmie,

    Congrats on your new daughter!! Warmest wishes and blessings your way.

  2. Sam Patrick says:

    Congratulations on the birth of your wee girl 🙂 in my experience sleeping patterns settle after the first few months. Enjoy every moment you can because they grow up fast! Lots of love xx

  3. Nigel Chua says:

    Congrats Nochie!

    Nice! Guess what – my wife is 5 months pregnant with a baby girl too! =D

    Am so excited and happy =D

    ….I can only imagine losing control, and everything…but then again, I think everything also becomes ok when you see her eyes and smile. =)

  4. Toni says:

    Haven’t been back to site for while, just saw this. Congratulations!!

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about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) was born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Social Entrepreneur and founded BEARAPY to help corporates make workplaces mentally healthy, and support executives to become more resilient.