Why do we feel pressured, stressed out, overwhelmed? Expectations – and the fear of falling short from those expectations.
Whether it’s work, home, life, our personal goals and dreams, the answer has to do with the simple phenomenon of expectations. When we fall short of these expectations, we feel disappointed. We feel we have failed others – not getting full marks on the examinations disappointed my parents and teachers. But did I really need full marks?
People expect from us, and we live by their frameworks. And why? We do not question whether these expectations are justified, and take it upon our shoulders to solve the world’s problems.
Other times, no one expects anything from us, and yet we misconceive so.
I thought I had to make money to succeed. I thought I had to make a perfect cake or no one would eat it. I thought I had to be funny for people to like me and be my friend.
But my friends ate the cake even though it was crumbling into pieces, exclaiming how delicious it was. Friends were around even when I was melancholy. I have no money and yet I live.
Expectations we place on ourselves. Expectations we think others have of us. Unnecessary stress we create for ourselves.
Pressure could be good, competition could be productive, and expectations could sow motivation — but place only what we expectations are justified on ourselves.
ha,when i depress again, i will isolated myself again, i m afraid my emotion will affect my friends and it’s felt hard when they ask me why u so unhappy? and you dont know how to answer it…and u also dont to what respond they have after they knew you got depression. so isolated myself can escape such as 尴尬的时刻，even u know it’s not a good way to treat youself better…
recently i try to listen to my body, but my brain will interupt what i felt and think, my body dont want, but my brain is not.full of conflict of myself…but i try to pulling myself up of doing something, like jogging 🙂
full of doubt to my future, but anyway, i will keep fighting to this and live with this black dog peacefully, cheers!
jogging is good! i can’t job so much as it hurt my knees 🙁
I’m learning taichi these days. I think it’s helping!
yeh, i also try to avoid those awkward times, just stay at home more…
but when it’s sunny like today, even though I am on my own, I came to a cafe. Maybe some “人气” can have some positive influence
ha, 人气, tha’t what we need 🙂
or Bears :p
Hi Nochnoch, I have a friend who have been suffering from depression for almost two months and so far her psychological therapies aren’t doing very well for her. I just want to pick your brains on psychologists/ doctors who have helped you along the way so my friend can try speaking to different people and get better. We are located in Macau but my friend is ready to travel a bit for therapy sessions in order to get better. Any contacts will be appreciated.
I have not seen any psychologists in Hong Kong so not sure, my psychologist is based in Beijing – do you still want that contact?
Feel free to drop me an email nochnoch [at] nochnoch [dot] com if Beijing can also work for you. I don’t check comments everyday. Sorry for the delay
I am on a mission to break every single expectations that have been placed on me!
Good luck Lily – try not to feel guilty when others ask why you don’t have those expectations anymore! I Know that I feel very guilty for breaking them!