A reader commented and asked with such heartache on my post, “10 things not to say to a depressed person“: “Do you know what it feels on the other side, taking care of a depressed daughter, worried what I say will send her over the edge, worried for her, aching for her…?”
Honest answer: I do not.
I have not taken care of someone with depression before.
But I can sympathize, for I saw how Timmie had to deal with me.
There are but an esoteric few who could tolerate and thrive when taking care someone with uncontrollable and irrational negative thoughts for a prolonged period.
I did not write that particular post to complain or to be ungrateful. I wrote it, well, because that was how I felt and what I thought. It does not mean I discount the efforts of the support group around me. God knows I am difficult to handle un-depressed already, so add on depression I would be a nightmare!
The irony is, when we are depressed, unmotivated, and feeling like we could never live another day, we have no more energy to show our appreciation. Everything anybody does frustrates us – not because we do not appreciate, but because we are twirled in our own bubble of a world figuring out why we are staying alive that we have no capacity to care about other people’s feelings. We know they are trying to help, yet we feel so unworthy of help we can only push others away.
Hopefully it can reach more people and help minimize the rift between those depressed and those around them. Communication is not our strongest point when stuck under 50 feet of snow, claustrophobic and hopeless.
Kudos to that reader, and everyone else who struggles to care for their loved ones challenged by mental health issues.
I just wanted to write a note and tell those readers who stumble on to my site and think depressed people are an ungrateful lot that we are thankful for what you do for us. We just do not know how to express the gratitude, because we are too indulged in our inexplicable despair, and/or we are exhausted from hating ourselves to believe someone could still love a despicable person as us (yes, it is not a rational thought, that is the whole point…)
But, Thank You.