i’m a whinger


No, darling, I’m not perfect. Far from it.


Certain strengths and skill sets are valued in a social setting and the professional regime. I’ve been through copious amounts of training courses and development workshops so I can reinforce those strengths I already possess and perhaps acquire those that I don’t but are considered vital to become umm, an effective leader, a manager, a salesperson, a respected executive, outgoing networker etc.

In doing so, I intentionally suppress those traits that are according to the rest of the world, less desirable. In fact, in these classes, they also tell us what behaviour to avoid to prevent eliciting the responses we do not want from others.

I sow and I harvest – a good reputation is hard to come by but I achieved just that in the workplace. I’m trusted and respected. I’m friendly. I’m easy to approach. I’m opened to communication as a manager. I’m firm. I’m helpful. I’m efficient and effective (never understood really what those jargons mean). I have been blessed as well and made very good friends wherever I lived, I was “nice”, I was generous, I was fun.

So I cannot lament.

But please grant me the exceptional extravagance – because it is tiring to keep up an image all the time, not to say that I’m not really such a person, but then again, I have my bad days.

I cannot resist strangling some people in Ops because of the foolish rigidity in carrying out procedures – but I grit my teeth, ask politely and persistently, for months some times, and get a simple straightforward logical thing done eventually in the most complicated convoluted senior-management-approved-dispensation way. So patient my boss says, I smile and nod, relieved that all was resolved. But inside I was ablaze with fury. I’m the least patient person in this world if I may. If I could, I would have told those colleagues how stupid they were and made it an order to do what I say—then and there. No, I kept up the smiles and reasoned with them. I even said “please” and “thank you” and “appreciate your understanding” so many times. Was it fake? Or was it purely “professional” because I didn’t lose my temper? Well, I got the work done I guess…

And really, I am so fed up with some people in my social circle. I cannot deal with someone complaining about every single petty aspect of their lives every time we meet: “hi how are you?” “Oh work is bad, men are worse, and colleagues are sh!t, and this and that” “Oh I’m sorry to hear that, maybe try X and it will get better, can I help?” “No, nothing can change, I can’t take holiday because its busy at work but I’m so tired” “Why can’t you take holiday? “I just can’t” “Well, um…” Polite smile – and all I wanted to do was to get out of the situation or slam the phone down. I cringed at subsequent phone calls but I picked up anyways, to be a nice and caring friend.

Why do we keep up images for the world? Life is a stage said some famous writer, perhaps Oscar Wilde or George Bernard Shaw, or maybe was it Shakespeare… and we are all actors on it. So we pretend, we dress up, we make up, we try to be everybody else – but ourselves. And what’s the point of that?

So guess what, I’m a whinger. I am not so easygoing, tough luck. I will whinge.

I’m not perfect. You’re not either.

But at least we can be who we really are.

Be real to yourself.

It’s ok.一定的強項和技能是在社會環境和專業的制度下進行評價的。我已經經曆過大量的訓練課程和關於未來發展的講習班,所以我能夠加強我已經擁有的那些技能,也許還能獲得那些我沒有的,但是對於成爲一位高效領導,一位經理,一個銷售員,一個受人尊敬的主管,一個開朗的社交人員極其重要的品質。












about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) was born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Social Entrepreneur and founded BEARAPY to help corporates make workplaces mentally healthy, and support executives to become more resilient.