Happy Birthday to me well, to my blog. Today my blog is TWO years old.
My blog has grown and I am proud of its development down the meandering path in the last 24 months since it’s inception. Sometimes I need to stop criticizing myself for everything I have not done and congratulate myself for what I have achieved.
I did not start writing to become a blogger, nor did I start writing to become a writer. I started writing to take care of myself, to reflect, and to think. It was my therapy a therapy I hope would inspire others, and give those who need it, some encouragement.
On the subject of self-awareness, I am still in process of learning about myself. A lot of habits still need un-learning and re-learning. My mentality still needs refining. I still worry a lot. But I have come a long way since two years ago, since the days when I could not get up from bed, hospital visits everyday, shutting myself up from the world, attempts at ending my own life, and losing 15kilos because I had no appetite.
So despite the ongoing treatments and physical pains, I should be proud of myself.
However, it seems my writing has been all over the place. I still do not know who my target audience is, and who reads my blog. Sometimes a few hundred people read my blog in one day, and sometimes none. Yet, I have stopped caring about analytics and sharing statistics. I suppose I just have to write. For if I am all over the place, then my writing should reflect just that, because that’s the purest, naturalest me exposed, as my tagline would approve.
The art of writing wise, “state of flux” might be an apt description. I started from pouring out my thoughts in shambled paragraphs to rediscovering my passion for writing and literature. I tried to experiment with different forms of writing style. I tried to dredge out the vocabulary I forgot. If what I write resonates with at least one of you, then who cares how I write it and if I had no “lists” or “headings”?
A concoction of emotions inundated me as I read every single post from beginning to end this evening.
Some made me cringe – “I wrote that?”
Some made me giddy – “Ohhh, that was a good story written with eloquence.”
Some brought me to tears – “I can still feel the wrath, the disappointment, the anger… and the love.”
I regroup here some of my favourite articles for you, and hope you will celebrate with me today, the milestone as I turn two:
- i hated my own reflection
- why do I even need to be depressed?
- spinning out of control
- inspiring blog posts for recovery from depression (part I of II)
- inspiring blog posts for recovery from depression (part II of II)
- if I could choose a normal life, would I?
- a trip to ER
- 10 things not to say to a depressed person (and please dont ever say to me either)
- letter to myself
- stuck under snow
On life and health balance
- are you ignoring these signs too?
- and in the beginning, there was stress
- revamping thoughts
- sorry, i cant do dinner, got a conference call / meeting / work
- compulsive emailing
- are vacations really a holiday?
- the challenge of just chilling
- do you need a retirement coach?
- the balance model : stop achieving
- why work-life balance? advocating a 3.5 day weekend
On growing up
- the irony of religion
- the disappointment sweater underneath
- revamping the tiger mum style to be or to do?
- confronting the past
- letter to my 16-year-old
- tiger mum in action
On inner peace
- smell the flowers
- the moment of now
- let it go
- someone I admire the most: Kung-Fu Panda
- I believe I am changing the world
- our monkey minds
On self awareness
- unnerving comparison
- do I look like I fly economy?
- pride & prejudice
- attributing blame
- masterchef to perfection
- apologies for my arrogance
- anger is good for you
- loss of identity
On writing and passion
On Bearapy and creativity
- i am a baer and my name is floppie
- making life BEAR able playful creativity, a rejuvenating force against depression
- stay away from crazymakers
On love and support
- an Angry Birds friend
- the partner in this whole ordeal
- a no-guilt-no-pressure friend
- if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world
- for me the bells toll taking a break, getting married
So I will keep writing. I will keep taking care of myself.
I am proud of myself.
Be proud of you.