This was the song my now husband, Timmie, and I danced to during our wedding weekend saga. We started slow and then broke into a hip-hop style where I got to show off my angry birds shoes. The crowd was impressed, haha. Behind the fun and giggles, however, these lyrics serve to remind us of the challenges we had gone through together.
During my worst days, I could not control my sobbing or hatred for the world. It was irrational, I know. My friends told me to get a grip and pull myself up. My parents and seniors told me I was committing a fatal mistake by quitting my job. I felt like the whole world was against me, and I was frustrated at not being able to decipher my problem, or the reasons behind my constant lethargy.
One day, I lay on the brown, fuzzy carpet in our living room, arms and legs spread out, desperate and hopeless. My sobs turned into wails, chokes, and howls.
Timmie came over to where I was sprawled out. He quietly lay down next to me and held my hand. That was all he did. Eventually my crying died down and I felt soothed by his presence.
A few days later, Timmie played me the MTV of this song, Chasing Cars, by Snow Patrol. Holding me on his lap, he stroked my hair and said, “We just forget the world… it will be okay Nochie, it will be okay.”
A little more than a week ago, we got married. For one weekend, I didn’t feel depressed at all, for I was contented – contented that it’s now Timmie & I against the world, that we are one, and that it will all be okay.
When we prepared for the wedding, we were adamant that we would write our own vows to tell each other what is deep inside our hearts
Noch Noch’s vow to Timmie: “…during my crisis, you stood by me and helped me understand that the world is not just full of risks to be mitigated, but one that will work out in its own good tim…you helped me find myself, and everyday I’m with you I become a better person…. You are my bestest friend in the world… I will help you build your castles in the sky and love you with everything I am”
Timmie’s vow to Noch Noch: “…from this day forward you will never be alone in the forest or need to be afraid of the shadows because I will be there to hold you… you inspire me to be a better person and overcome the challenges life brings with our mutual respect, admiration, competitiveness and love…. No matter what, love will see us through and make all our dreams come true!”
Rumour has it that all the men were discreetly wiping away tears when we spoke our vows.
Friends and family came from all over the world to witness our joyous day. We felt truly loved. The support from these close friends was relentless during our trying times, and for that we are grateful.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me. I live another day, knowing that it will be okay eventually. And today I slowly ease back to the online world.
I live another day to write, to tell you my story. So that you, too, may find the strength and encouragement to hang on, and to make the changes in the life you know you need to make.
Should all forsake you, I will lay here with you in cyberspace, and just forget the world.
You are not stuck. You can do it too.