[16 May 2012 update: I know I said I won’t be online these few weeks and I have been doing quite well keeping my promise. However, May is Mental Health Awareness Week and I would like to offer my modest contribution in support of the Mental Health Blog Party organized by the American Psychological Association.
So I decided to come mid-way: I am now updating my blog to participate in the Blog Party – but not with a completely new post in agreement with myself to take care of my health and sanity.
Therefore, please excuse the fact that I’m updating only to direct your attention to a post in the archives, “10 things not to say to a depressed person.” Nevertheless, this article tells my story, and hopefully does its part in explaining depression to those who don’t understand it and in relieving the skewed perceptions some people have of mental illnesses.
And for now, I’m going back offline to allow myself to focus on myself, especially with only THREE days to go before the wedding!]
I have been down with a humungous migraine this week. Despite my warning to myself with mini headaches in the last few weeks, I was obstinate and tried to push myself an inch further. I heard my body’s warning signals, but did not listen. And so, again I was bed bound.
There was nothing I could do except play with my bears and my dog Bamboo. I got worried and more frustrated at my migraine for it prevented me from writing and fulfilling obligations – I had promised at least three other websites I would write them a guest post by the end of last week. I don’t like failing people’s expectations. It was ;a vicious cycle, the more annoyed I was at myself, the worse my migraine became, and I’d get doubly upset at my weak physique.
We have also been busy preparing for our wedding. Timmie and our wedding planner friend have been doing most of the work for they knew I was not in my strongest state to do much, but I wanted to take part in the planning. Thus I was overwhelmed with decisions to make in addition to my non-writing state.
Yes, Timmie and I are getting married.
Mid-May four years ago, I had just finished my exams for a Masters in Law degree while working full time. I was in my mid-twenties — my omnipotent, invincible years and at the peak of my career. I hosted a house party for friends just because I could and wanted to. I had about 100 guests and I bumped into one of them at the dining table. I did not know him but he had come at the invitation of a mutual friend. I greeted him politely and sauntered off to welcome other guests.
Serendipity had it that we never crossed paths prior to that house party even though there were multiple opportunities given our mutual friends. Fate also dictated what I thought would be a two-month fling became a long-term relationship. I was supposed to be leaving Tokyo right about the time I met Timmie but instead I stayed on longer for work, and eventually we moved in together, and moved to Beijing together for my work three years ago.
I saw him through some of his difficult times in this career path, and Timmie made sure I stayed alive and every day he is gentle towards my depression. Many times we thought we would break up because it was overbearing on our psyches. Yet, each time we managed to find a way to break the spell. We went for couple therapy and pre-marital counseling, we argued, we debated, we joked. We even got a puppy together.
In exactly 14 days we will be husband and wife. In two weeks, we will exchange vows to promise our undying will to annoy each other for the rest of our lives.
And so, I have decided that wedding planning – and resting – will come first for these next few weeks. Writing will have to take a back seat despite it being therapy for me. It is not enough to simply reflect but not change any of the habits I have decided to change.
My apologies then, my dear readers, that there will be no updates on this blog for a few weeks and I may not be able to respond to comments and emails promptly.
One thing at a time.
First off, take a nap for my migraine.
The bells will toll for me.
Wishing you all well.
I wish you and Timmie The Very Best!!! Happy Wedding Bells!!!
Thanks MW!! 🙂
Newly wedded… haha
Congrats!!!! Wishing you a beautiful and non-stressful wedding! How wonderful to have such an enthusiastic and supportive partner.
Sending you hugs from Chile!
Thanks so much! It was slightly hectic but was a wonderful weekend. Lots of laughter and fun!!
Wishing you and Tim all the best! We will be thinking of you guys on your wedding day!
Hugs and kisses from Vancouver
Thanks Claudia – missing you all!!! Take care in Vancouver
Hiya Noch Noch,
That is a lovely story about how you and Timmie met and got together. It is amazing how that special someone just comes into your life, hangs around and goes on to exert a great amount of influence on you.
I especially like the bit about seeing each other through thick and thin. It is always nice to know that there is someone by your side you can depend on through thick and thin. It is comforting, reassuring and empowering.
It is clear that you two have been through a lot together. Adversity forges strong bonds that are hard to break. And probably no one understands the two of you better than each other. I do hope that you have a wonderful marriage and many happy years and memories together. It is a blessing to find such support and happiness!
All the best! 🙂
Irving the Vizier
Yes we do have a bond and a connection. I will remember to treasure it at all times for I know it is something very precious. Thank you for your well wishes and I will slowly ease back to life here!!
<3 Wishing you and Timmie a blessed and joyful marriage!! Don't worry about us…this blog can wait!
Hahah thanks Lily – I’ve actually missed blogging and my readers. Just slowly resurrecting into action, but still taking it easy. You are right though, this blog can wait while I recuperate! 🙂
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I hope it all goes smoothly and as stressfree as possible for you. My daughter suffers depression and i have found your thoughts to be very helpful in my understanding of what ahe is going through. Thank you for being so brave and sharing with me, someone who you dont know but have helped enormously. Ripples amongst us. All the best nochnoch, much love and good wishes from someone you dont know but who feels she knows you and her own daughter better because of you. Xo
Thanks for the sweet message. It’s encouraging to me to know that I might have been able to inspire someone. I hope your daughter will journey through this challenge and find herself through this agonizing experience. Yet I feel more empowered and courageous to be who I am after this. Had a great wedding weekend with lots of friends and love. Slowly easing back into writing.
Stay in touch! and Keep well
So happy to hear you and Timmie are getting married soon! Congrats!
It’s been a long time since we last met in Beijing… Miss our old times. Hope all is well with you. Take care!
Thanks Wendy – hope you are doing well in HK la!
Hey hey Noch
It’s time to relax a little from the writing, and enjoy the process of getting married – it’s both fun and tiring at the same time!
Let the wedding bells call to ye,
It’s time, it’s time to marry
Be blessed, be happy
It’s time to marry =p
hahaha thanks for the little rhyme
yup just popping back to see what’s going on here and still taking a break!
p.s. I finally watched the video clip you sent me!
Congrats!!! Very excited for the both of you.
Thanks Benny – had a great party!!! 🙂
Love is a beautiful thing. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years. We have been together and like you, seen each other in times of tribulations. I do hope you get better because your writing makes me (us) happy. I hope you know, you come first. Therefore, I think you haven’t failed anyones expectaions. You’ve got a lot going on; and focus on the wedding, first.
Congratulations! And, I hope you have a beautiful week! You deserve it!
Thanks for the reassurance. I do have to take care of myself. Was tired out from the wedding and so still taking it easy. It was a great wedding weekend and I truly felt loved! My husband is a precious one. And I’m sure your girlfriend is too. Enjoy your moments together. Tribulations make us stronger!
Take care for now. will be back soon!
Perfectly acceptable time for you to start laying low. And laying down! Good luck with the next few weeks and congrats!
Thanks Kathy – still laying low but resurfacing soon. Had a great time 🙂
Hope you are well
Nice blog post. Congrats we are excited for you! Love the layout of the blog too very simple but elegant.
Thanks!!! and so pleased to hear you like the layout of the blog! 🙂
Hope you are well
Congratulations Noch Noch!
This is indeed wonderful news and I wish and your to-be all the very best. And don’t worry about the blog- all this can be taken care of later.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Good to see you here again. Yup I suppose the blog can wait ahah. I came by to check it out whilst I recover from the hubbub of the wedding weekend… more to come soon! Was so much fun. I’m waiting for the professional photos!!
Hi! E Noch Li
that is an excellent news and very nice to hear of you and Timmie marrying. We will wait for you to come back and send us the marriage photographs.
Hey, god bless you and wish you a very happy married life
take care Nich
Thanks Srini, will be back soon. Thanks fo the patience and well wishes 🙂
Congrats! And the best of luck on the big day 🙂
Wishing you every bit of happiness together…
Thanks Russell!!! 🙂
Wishing you and Timmie all of the very best, always.
Have fun and enjoy being with each other.
Karl & Padma
Thanks Karl, Padma
Thanks for taking care of me and remembering me all the time!!! 🙂
[…] NochNoch – for me the bells toll – taking a break, getting married […]
[…] NochNoch – for me the bells toll – taking a break, getting married […]
Congratulations once again, Noch Noch! =) What a beautiful story you and Timmie share. I’m so glad you have each other. Your commitment to each other is thoroughly inspiring. I’m also learning from you bit by bit on how to prioritize better. =) Wedding first, right? =) Can’t wait to see pictures! But those adorable teddy bears will do for now. =)
Hehehe I’m waiting for the professional photos to come but will give you all a sneak peak next week with some of my friends’ photos. Was wonderful and truly felt the love for each other. Timmie is the best for me. and I’m glad you have found your partner as well!!!
I’m finishing off these replies then back to relaxing!!! Need to keep reminding myself of priorities 🙂
why don’t you accept the fact that you missed us all so much that you came back on line again.
I came back online to update for the Mental Health Blog Party – hope you joined too! Will be back to update my blog once I’m done with rejuvenating and resting from the wedding hubbub
Congratulations E Noch and Timmie! We’re so happy for you to start on this new chapter of your lives together! Best wishes for you both and we wish you well as you embark on a new journey as husband and wife.
Thanks Marv, Jo!!!
congratulations to you and Timmie. i absolutely loved hearing about how you two met. I have a similar story of serendipity with my husband. Funny how fate works…
I wish you and Timmie many many many years of happiness together and lots and lots of grandchildren, or cats. Or BOTH…
Hahahah thanks – fate yes has it’s own way of working… As for Cats, not sure our dog will like that but why not ahhaa
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