The more I write, the more I realize, as long as we write from deep within our hearts, people will feel it and resonate somehow. With so much encouragement from the last post, and readers / followers on Twitter & emails urging me alike, I’ve managed to patch up some courage to publish a poem I scribbled down a few days ago.
Poetry, for me, is a language of romance – not solely romantic love, but a flourishing expression of little things in our everyday life with random words strung together into a mellifluous sound. Poetry can express so much joy and heartache, the pains and the triumphs, the contentment and frustrations. It seem to me though, that many poets are quite lonely, and their words interweaved so passionately into imageries and dreams, are but soliloquys. My poems dating back from age 10 were the same.
I had always thought I was an extrovert, with friends endless surrounding me. It is with this challenge of depression that I finally realize, I’m actually happier on my own, and that I don’t need a bundle of friends if I might have one or two soulmates in my life. Society’s image of being popular and outgoing caught the better of me, and my effervescent personality bubbled through. However, I need to also accept and learn to embrace the loner in me, for there is nothing wrong with that side of me either. It is maybe, the more creative side of me that I had never explored, and even suppressed.
So here, to carry on the poetic journey after my little rhyme, is the second poem I’ve written this year – almost 10 years since my last one. But I’m glad my poetry notebook has not forsaken me…
Again, I didn’t delve into any rhythmical rules, or stanza formats. I just wrote, and found some rhyme here and there when I could. I wrote this within the space of 10 minutes on the back of a newspaper on Monday night, and edited it a little bit on Tuesday.
Perhaps if you have the patience to read it, you could let me know in the comments, how you felt after reading this little poem? I’m interested to know what emotions can be drawn out from readers, and what metaphors you would interpret into the scene I depicted below. Not a literature class, just your thoughts.
Insomnia: Encounter with a Fox
Sleep has left me for dreams
On the forty-third floor
I lie mindless in a white sea
From a distance, a twinkle at the door
Dark brown eyes stare into my heart’s solace
A fox, sighs in the wind
He catches taste of my weeping
Silent tears in the willow trims
Blocked by stony rifts between
Many songs we could have sung
Regardless of days and night in time or space
With merry dances we might flung
The fox looked me again
I stared back through the rain
The twinkles tempt me to follow
I entice him to my burrow
Before each other we stand
Daring not to move a single strand
His eyes as brown as ever
My lips slightly quiver
The ties to humans are set
Lair is where fox will head
I turn my face to bid goodbye
He trots off freely, sound and wise
The gaze bores through my bones
My heart is not unfeeling stones
Through the foggy dented mist
My vain hope he will return is not
For men must toil and live their days
Thus fox must go his separate way
The creek sets us apart
But neither of us will cross the slumber
No, not tonight…
Fox thinkeths not of me, I know
But I, I of him
…When, then, I wonder?
I hope you enjoyed this poem. It took a lot of courage to post it, not only because I don’t think it’s a masterpiece, but also because poems depict my innermost thoughts and emotions, which, to present to the world, make me feel vulnerable.
Yet, if anything I had learnt through depression, it is this: to be vulnerable takes courage.
If we can face ourselves, honestly, blatantly, completely, wholly, we are one step closer to conquering our worst enemy: ourselves, and our fears inside.
Be me. Write for me.
These are just my thoughts and I’d love to hear about your experience and what you think in the comments below. Also, if you liked this blurb please share with your friends and help my blog grow – and don’t forget to let me know how you felt after reading the poem, and/or what imageries you drew from it. Thanks!