NochNoch.com

“I believe I am changing the world”

| 12 Comments

In one of my meetings with my executive coach, he said to me, “Yes, I am changing the world, I really believe that.” I was awestruck and dumbfounded at his non-arrogant self-confidence, and such a radiant glow exudes from inside him as a result of this confidence.

Is it the culture of humility, or the “that’s not good enough” from my mother as I was growing up, or that I never attained the perfection I outline for myself? I have never felt genuinely a belief in myself, that whatever I was doing, I was changing the world, one person at a time.

Fact is, I don’t even know what I am doing sometimes.

I would love to change the world and exert some sort of positive influence. Perhaps I have a delusion of grandeur, but my idea of influence is umm, Obama, Steve Jobs and maybe Hitler? I think in such grand scales that I forget the little things I’m doing that added up together, make up big things.

And anyways, big or small, it’s all relative, so maybe I should stop categorizing deeds for a start.

Other than that, I think there is a lot of self-doubt in me. I might achieve something I am happy with and be proud of myself for a moment, and then I envelope myself with self criticism and things I could improve on, so that in the end, I destroy my own sense of achievement. Even when the whole world was congratulating me for doing something, I still think, “Oh really? Are you sure? But what about this that is not perfect?”

I used to mistake this trait as being overly ambitious and aggressive, that I always want more and better. Perhaps it comes across as so, but introspection tells me it is more because of my lack of self-confidence and that the constant self-doubt arises.

So how do we believe in ourselves? It’s amusing when I flip through self-help books and blogs and they always say, “Step 1 – Believe in Yourself.” Yeh well, HOW?

Again, I don’t know. Maybe everyday we wake up we just need to chant, “I believe I am changing the world, I believe I am changing the world, I believe I am changing the world….”

Obviously, not everyone has the dream to change the world. Others might just want to change themselves. For me, I’m trying to catch myself every time I’m about to discount my own achievement or say “but” after receiving a compliment or giving myself a pat on my back.

Sometimes, we just need to bask in our own glory, even if for a split second, to remind ourselves, that we are worthy in our own right, whatever it is we are trying to achieve.

I’m me, and that’s ok.

The world is waiting to hear my story – they are waiting to hear your’s too.

12 Responses

  1. 袁梦怡(English Name: Dream) says:

    A very good writing! Your article tells me much. Yeah, I should have enough confidence in myself. Thank you!

    • nochnoch says:

      Hi 袁梦怡,thank you for reading my article and I’m glad you like it and take some encouragement from it. It’s a process to build confidence in ourselves but first thing, we need to decide to believe in ourselves, stop comparing ourselves with others, and I think the rest will come 🙂
      All the best to you!
      noch

  2. Bon says:

    I have come cross your blog via tinybuddha this morning. Very refreshing! I think writing is therapeutic to you. I read some of your posts which I pretty much resonate with and brought tears to my eyes. I have been struggling with anxiety and low self esteem for years and they do come hand in hand. I always think “I am not good enough” which was internalised since childhood. I think we do need to love ourselves more which is the essence of life. In self-love, we accept and honor our strengths and imperfection and that I am reminding myself of every day. Thank you!

    • nochnoch says:

      Hi Bon

      Thanks for stopping by and glad to hear you like my writing and resonate with it. It’s the best compliment I can have. I think our upbringing and what we internalise during childhood haunts us more than we know. I”m learning to come to terms with it, and that it’s ok to love myself despite all. Good to know you are reminding yourself everyday. We all need to encourage each other 🙂

      I hope you come back to my blog some time and share with your friends too 🙂

      Take care
      Noch Noch

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about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) is born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Play Consultant for corporates interested in creative change management and employee well-being using the psychology of playfulness.