Bravo! So I’ve decided to slow down and savour life, to neutralize a bit the extremity of a hectic life I’ve led. But guess what, it’s not so easy. In fact its freaking difficult process.
There are days when I get so anxious about the fact that I am not doing anything but there are still so many little things I need to do—check my email and reply for instance. Other times, I feel overwhelmed about my own decision to do what I want, especially after I do some research on the internet and suddenly I’m intimidated the process I may have to go through to reach my aspirations.
More than occasionally, the simple act of sipping tea agitates me because in my head my little noch monkey mind asks me why I’m not “doing something”. Practice some calligraphy perhaps, it asks? At least it’s supposed to be calming and soothing. So I do, and yet the angst magnifies because my mind is not at peace, translating into ink splashed randomly on the table.
It’s a “balancing” act, isn’t it? And if everyone can do it there would be no need for all those self-help books on the shelves preaching about “work-life balance”. Yet what does “balance” mean? Indeed, I don’t really believe there can be a “work-life balance” where one allocates equal amount of time to work and to everything outside of work.
I think we just all have to set our own saturation point where we are contented with the amount of input and enjoy the abundance of output, whatever they may be.
Mine was to slow down because I have been sprinting for 29 years, so theoretically I can just prance around for the next 29 so that by the time I’m 58 years old, I’d have achieve a 50-50 divide, i.e. a “balance”. Yet, I’m not so sure that an equal amount of the two translates into “balance”. On top of that, balances at different points in time could change as our needs and wants change.
Like my reader’s witty comment on my previous post: too much smelling flowers could bring hayfever… plus, what about the bumble bees’ stings in case you get too close…? There will be a day when slowing down becomes “idling my life away” if I am not careful.
As my calligraphy teacher says, when the pond is not calm, wait till the wind passes by.
Take myself away from the roaring waves for now, sit, breathe, watch, and listen.
Tomorrow is another matter, which I can leave for tomorrow.