I get it. Many of us want to stop and feel like we cannot. We do not have the luxury to be depressed.
9 years ago, I could. I had no kids and therefore no financial obligation or school fees to pay. I had a company to support me through part of that experience. I had a boyfriend who took care of me. Many of us do not.
9 years later today, the irony of me feeling that I do not have the capacity or time to be depressed is not lost on me. For even though I am spiraling and dizzy from spinning with the world, falling into bits sprawled out in a dark desert like melting clocks, I hold on, stay intact, keep it together and even try to smile, because the wheels keep churning…
Because, I need to keep pitching for business, keep replying to clients’ emails, keep working on my presentations, keep paying the second instalment of kindergarten fees, keep paying my helper, keep paying electricity bills….
Because, I have become a hamster on a wheel again, though at least this time I quite like the cage I built for myself.
How do we just, stop?