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how do we just stop?

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I get it. Many of us want to stop and feel like we cannot. We do not have the luxury to be depressed.

9 years ago, I could. I had no kids and therefore no financial obligation or school fees to pay. I had a company to support me through part of that experience. I had a boyfriend who took care of me. Many of us do not.

9 years later today, the irony of me feeling that I do not have the capacity or time to be depressed is not lost on me. For even though I am spiraling and dizzy from spinning with the world, falling into bits sprawled out in a dark desert like melting clocks, I hold on, stay intact, keep it together and even try to smile, because the wheels keep churning… 

Because, I need to keep pitching for business, keep replying to clients’ emails, keep working on my presentations, keep paying the second instalment of kindergarten fees, keep paying my helper, keep paying electricity bills….

Because, I have become a hamster on a wheel again, though at least this time I quite like the cage I built for myself. 

How do we just, stop?

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about Noch Noch

Enoch Li, (pen name: Noch Noch) was born and raised in Hong Kong and Australia. She has also studied / worked / lived in the US, France, UK, Japan, The Netherlands, China, and has travelled to more than 40 countries. She loves travelling and her curiosity in foreign cultures and languages has led her to enjoy her life as an international executive in the banking & finance industry. However, she was forced to take time off work in 2010 due to her illnesses and after spending time in recovery, cooking, practising Chinese calligraphy, reading and writing – in short, learning to take care of herself and letting out the residual work stress, she has transitioned into a Social Entrepreneur and founded BEARAPY to help corporates make workplaces mentally healthy, and support executives to become more resilient.